“Please! Ple-e-e-ease! Please let me go! I really don’t like it when you keep me here. Let me go back to my house!” Jennifer says
“I won’t let you go until I get back what I have wanted for a long time” A deep mysterious voice says.
“But-but why me? I have never took anything from anyone, ever in my whole life.” Jenn says in a soft scared tone.
She’s got handcuffs on, in the corner of a room. The voice is coming from the other side of the room, its dark and musty. ‘Am I in a basement’ she thinks to herself. About an hour passes then she sees a little bit of light for just a moment on the other side of the room; where the voice was coming from earlier that day.
“I see you.” A voice says, this time a girls voice.
“Wh-wh-who are you? And wh-wh-what do you want?” Jenn says in a scared tone of voice.
“I want the painting back!” the voice exclaims.
“What are you talking about? I don’t have any paintings, and if I do they aren’t yours. IM only a 14 year old girl I don’t steel at all.”
“That’s a lie, why would you have my Leonardo Da Vinci painting.”
“THAT’S WHY YOU KIDNAPPED ME?” Jenn says
“Yes, it is.” The voice says
“That was passed down from my family members, your not getting it. Goodye.” Jenn says as she runs out the door.
They never saw each other again.
I like the message this story has, but i shes handcuffed in a corner in the basement, how could she run out? Also, In the 7th paragrahp, you put IM, it should just be Im. Overall this was a good story with good detail, and I liked it a lot.
ReplyDeleteI agree; good potential, but some logistical problems. I see the motive for the kidnapping (the painting), but why didn't they just steal the painting? And how does she get away exactly? They never saw each other again? Why not?
ReplyDeleteMany holes to fill...